So little time, so much to yell about.
Idk if I’m more angry, sad, embarrassed, or stressed.
Regardless, I’ll probably explode. Unless I get home first. Then I’ll probably be drunk. Sorry about the alcohol laden kidney, mom.
I’ve come to the conclusion that I either need to find a decent man here very soon or ditch this place to live closer to my best friend.
There’s nothing here for me anymore but this job. Family drives me insane. Friends? Well I’m good at running people off or ruining everything.
One thing I have found out in the past 24 that’s decent news is that men definitely find me more attractive than women. Hopefully one of the plethora of men interested appeals to me. At all.
And the amount of alcohol in my possession doesn’t bode well for me when I get home in the morning.
It’s going to be a very long night of being very sad and having to work. I wish I was already on leave. Staying in bed and being sad feels like a much better option.
Just when you think you can’t hate yourself anymore than you already do…
Me: I wanna do something
Anxiety: No you dont
I am not an easy person to love. Some days I will whisper how beautiful you are while planting gentle kisses all over your body. You will giggle and try to fight me off and in that moment my heart will have never felt so light.
But other days when my mind is a storm cloud threatening to explode, I will be a bundle of emotions that I cannot quite keep contained. I will be cold, distant, and you will look at me like I am not the same person you fell in love with.
I am a broken light switch. My moods flicker without anyone flipping me on and off. I wake up each morning and wonder which me you will encounter that day. I always hope it is the one who makes you want to stick around.
I am not easy to love. But what I need you to understand is that whether there is a war waging inside of my mind or I am the kind person that you adore, I will always love you.
I will love you in the morning. I will love you when you cry. I will love you when I am angry. I will love you when you’re being stubborn. I will love you when I don’t even love myself. I will love you.
I know that there will be days when you want to give up on me but I am asking you, please don’t. You see, you are the only one who has been able to settle the storm inside of me before I even realize it is surfacing.
I am not easy to love but I promise that I will always put up a fight. And I will love you no matter which me my light switch flips on that day.